Laurie is the current organizer of the Albuquerque Solo Women’s Travel Club Meetup* and during the Covid-19 pandemic, she has been hosting Zoom meetings with members. The topic for the July 15th and 16th meetings was “What to discuss before traveling.” Here are a few of the responses.
When you’re traveling with someone else, you must agree on mutual destinations that appeal to both of you and try to define the reasons why you want to visit a place. Is it the art and architecture, history, the landscape, the cuisine? Are you hoping to lie on a beach all day with a favorite read? Walk the Camino de Santiago de Compostela? What style of traveling do you like to do? Are you a hiker and like to camp? Are four and five star hotels a must, and would an occasional Motel 6 be a deal breaker? One member wanted to hike the Inca trail to Machu Picchu but found out when she and her travel companion arrived in Peru that they weren’t on the same page: her travel buddy wanted to take the train. Sleep schedules are important, too, if you’re sightseeing with someone else. Are you an early riser? A night owl? How important is scheduling three square meals per day?
Money is clearly the big determiner of the type, duration, and means of travel that a person can afford, so being realistic about money will preclude difficulties down the line. And talking about expectations up-front is critical. One of the members of the Meetup said realized she made the mistake of not getting separate rooms when her travel companion mentioned that her snoring bothered her. Our member was so mortified that when lying in bed at night, she would try not to fall into a deep sleep and start snoring. Another member traveled with her boyfriend to India and, without discussing it with her, invited his sister along. The boyfriend paid for his sister’s flight but not for the expensive hotel he had booked. The “who pays for what” discussion, that came up over breakfast at the expensive hotel, should have been held prior to leaving the U.S.
Solo women who choose to travel together sometimes like to have their own rooms and like to explore alternatives to conventional hotels and motels, like Airbnb and VRBO. As long as you have your own space, the pressure to get along with someone you might not know very well is reduced—you always know you’ll have privacy at the beginnings and at the ends of the day. One member always pays the single upgrade fee when traveling in a group, not liking the idea of being randomly assigned to someone she doesn’t know.
Another member suggested choosing a travel theme, like driving Route 66 or another one of the old U.S. highways, referencing the television show from the 1980s “On the Road with Charles Kuralt.” According to another member, AAA is still a good source for maps and travel advice, and yes, they have brick and mortar stores mostly in the eastern U.S.
Several members agreed that it’s prudent to leave nothing up to chance. Yes, it’s a good idea to know your flight information, which cities you will be visiting on what days, and where you’re going to bunk every night. However, not leaving anything to chance (if this is at all possible) may be setting yourself up to overlook experiences you may not have considered and may preclude you from meeting interesting locals and other tourists. Regardless, being open to new experiences is the reason why we travel!
* The “Solo Women” in the name means women who live on their own but want to travel with other women.